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Recent Blog Posts
Children Can Be Happy After a Divorce
When a married couple with children decides to split, often their biggest concern is how the divorce will affect their children. Many parents who have chosen to live their lives apart worry that their children will think the breakup was their fault or will resent the parents for it. Divorced parents are also often concerned that their children will not be the same after a divorce, but research shows that there is reason to be hopeful. Most children of divorce are able to adapt to their new two-home family and end up thriving in it.
Studies Show Most Children Adapt Well
A 20-year study conducted by noted psychologist Constance Ahrons and confirmed by others shows that about 80 percent of children of divorce are able to adapt to the divorce and lead happy, successful lives afterward. The majority of children whose parents get divorced do not experience permanent negative effects on their grades, social development, or mental health.
What Property Do I Get to Keep in My Texas Divorce?
Many people have heard horror stories about divorcing spouses who are left with virtually nothing after the split. Their spouse took the house, the car, and even the dog in the divorce. While most divorce cases are not nearly as dramatic as these exaggerated stories would lead one to believe, protecting property rights is a crucial element of any divorce case.
If you are getting divorced, it is important to understand and assert your rights with regard to household items, real estate, retirement accounts, cash, and other property.
Negotiated Settlement vs. a Divorce Trial
Texas courts will generally uphold any agreements or settlements that spouses reach with regard to the division of property in a divorce. You and your spouse have the right to divide your community property however you see fit. In an amicable divorce case, the spouses may be able to sit down and discuss a fair division of assets without the court’s involvement. Even if the split is amicable and cooperative, it is best to get legal advice from an attorney regarding property division during divorce. There may be tax-related consequences and other legal factors spouses have not thought about that can heavily influence the decision.
What Happens to Commingled Assets During Divorce?
When a couple decides to divorce, they must divide their property between them. As one might expect, each spouse brings property into the marriage, but community property is also acquired throughout their relationship. Some couples are exceedingly careful about segregating their respective personal property, while others pay little attention to the matter until divorce becomes a possibility. If you are in a position where your personal property has become commingled, or "mixed in", with your spouse’s, consulting an experienced divorce lawyer may be the best option for you.
What Is Commingling?
Commingling occurs when two individuals’ separate property becomes intertwined or mixed. The best example of this is an individual depositing individually-owned funds—money he or she made before the marriage or received as an inheritance during the marriage—into a joint marital checking account. Doing so, in most cases, causes the deposited funds to lose their identity as separate property.
Making Uncontested Divorce Work for You
There is little question that divorce can be a messy, often traumatic process. Unresolved anger and fear of an uncertain future can lead to a long, drawn-out proceeding that costs both spouses significant time, money, and energy. In many cases, a bitter, contentious divorce can destroy what was once a loving relationship, making it nearly impossible for the parties to even be in the same room for years into the future.
Your divorce, however, does not need to be this way. In fact, with a little work and the right attitude, you might find that an uncontested divorce will provide an opportunity to move forward with your lives more quickly and at much less expense.
Amicable or Uncontested Divorce
Sometimes referred to as an amicable divorce, an uncontested divorce is one that does not require the court to get involved in settling differences or ruling on issues between the spouses. Instead, the couple is able to reach a workable agreement regarding all of the necessary considerations, including:
Help Your Children Enjoy the Holidays in Two Homes
The winter holiday season, for many families, begins with the celebration of Thanksgiving and continues through the month of December into the beginning of January. While the holidays are often filled with fun, food, and extended family, they can be particularly challenging for divorced parents as they try to keep their children involved in all of the festivities. If you share custody of your child with your former partner, there are some things that you can do to help make the winter holidays more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Be Prepared
If your parenting agreement does not already specify where your child will spend each holiday, you will need to make arrangements with the other parent as soon as possible. Do not wait until the very last minute. Give your child something to look forward to, and provide enough lead time for you and your child’s other parent to plan for the holiday accordingly.
The Dangers of Parental Alienation
Divorce is a painful process for the families who go through it. Children can especially be affected, as their entire world is changing. During or after a divorce, it is difficult for many to hold their tongues regarding their ex-spouses, and a parent may be tempted to make a snide remark about their former partner. Such emotions are understandable and even tolerable, to a small extent, but in extreme cases, a vindictive parent directly attempts to alienate a child from the other parent. This is called parental alienation, and it can create serious problems for both the child and the offending parent.
Parental alienation often includes manipulative or destructive behavior on the part of the adult and is meant to weaken or break the relationship between the child and his or her other parent. A father telling his children lies about the mother so that they will prefer staying at his house would be an example of parental alienation. It could also involve a mother who refuses to let her children see their father by falsely claiming he does not want to be a part of their lives. When a parent tries to change a child’s perception of the other parent in an unethical way, parental alienation is occurring. This manipulative behavior is also sometimes referred to as “aggressive hostile parenting,” and it is seen by many experts as a form of emotional abuse.
Divorced Parents Should Start Making Holiday Custody Plans Now
The calendar has flipped over to November, which means that the winter holiday season is fast approaching. Starting with Thanksgiving later this month, many families will celebrate several holidays over the weeks that follow, possibly including the Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New Year's Eve/New Year's Day.
Planning your celebrations is difficult enough for any family, but it can be especially challenging if you share custody of your children with your ex-spouse. With this in mind, it is important to know what your custody agreement says and to begin making arrangements now so that your children can make the most of this year's holiday season.
Review Your Established Holiday Custody Schedule
If you and your co-parent have already established a holiday custody schedule, the first step is to review it to make sure that it is still accurate and up to date. You may find that your overall situation has changed since you originally created it, or that your family’s holiday plans have changed. If any changes need to be made, talk to your co-parent about them as soon as possible so that you can come to an agreement.
What to Do When Your Spouse is Reluctant to Divorce
If you are considering divorcing your spouse but they are reluctant to end the marriage, you may be wondering what to do. The truth is, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Every divorce is different, and therefore the best course of action will vary from couple to couple. However, there are some general tips that can help make the process go more smoothly. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
Evaluate Your Reasons for Wanting a Divorce
Before you take any further steps, it is important to sit down and evaluate your reasons for wanting a divorce. Are you certain that this is what you want? Are there any other options? What are your long-term goals? Once you have a clear understanding of why you want a divorce, you will be in a better position to explain your decision to your spouse. This can help them understand where you are coming from and potentially make them more receptive to the idea of ending the marriage.
Five Tips for Talking to Your Children About Your Divorce
If you are considering a divorce or you have already started the divorce process, you may be wondering how to tell your children. While this is a difficult conversation to have, there are some things you can do to make it a little easier. Here are a few tips on how to talk to your children about your divorce.
1. Make Sure You Are Both on the Same Page
Before you have the conversation with your children, make sure you and your spouse are on the same page about what you are going to say. You should both be in agreement about the key points you want to communicate to your children. This will help the conversation go more smoothly and help reduce any confusion or anxiety on the part of your children.
2. Keep Things Simple and Age-Appropriate
When you are talking to your children about your divorce, try to keep your explanation simple. They are likely already feeling confused and overwhelmed, so avoid using complicated legal jargon or getting into too many details. Just let them know that you and their other parent have decided to divorce and that they will still see both of you. It is also a good idea to speak in a way that your children will understand based on their ages and maturity levels.
Do Not Let Divorce Ruin Your Credit
Going through a divorce is undoubtedly one of the most emotionally draining situations many people have to face. At this difficult time, it is vitally important to be aware of the negative impact this emotional upheaval can have on personal finances. While working through your divorce, it is necessary to take responsibility for safeguarding your personal finances and credit score.
Good Credit Is Crucial
For spouses who have not been responsible for paying the bills during their marriages, the transition to successfully managing their personal finances can be challenging. If this describes your situation, it is important to get an overall understanding of their finances so that you can make smart decisions going forward.
One important area of focus involves your personal credit score. Everyone has their own credit score assigned to them by the credit reporting agencies, regardless of if they are single or married. However, for married people, depending on how the couple’s credit and loan accounts were set up and maintained, a person’s individual credit score may be substantially different from their spouse’s.
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